Well technically...

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Basilisk Slayer You Feast On: Snow Cones You Lurk Around In: Wal-mart You Especially Like to Torment: Hipsters

So...there's this homeless guy who I gave a couple dollars to a while back...and apparently he thinks we're best friends now. So he was up at DQ tonight, trying to get more money from me. And I made it pretty clear that he wasn't going to get any out of me. So then he spent about half an hour telling me about how all Hispanic people hate white Americans, and how his family screwed him over, and he always helped people when he had money, but now that he doesn't have any, nobody will help him, and the world is full of horrible, rotten, stinking people (his words, not mine), and his entire body is messed up, and the Social Security people take forever to replace checks, and there's a big difference between a woman and a lady, and all fornicators are going to hell. Among other things.

And I really, really want the job at Wendy's. They have an awesome benefits package. And I really need out of Dairy Queen. Really, really. Like, you have no idea. Grr.

So...one of my new coworkers is a drag queen. That's pretty cool.

Not so cool: we're pretty sure somebody is stealing, but we haven't been able to catch them. It's getting really annoying.

Also, we were ridiculously busy this past weekend. Seriously. It was in the 80's all weekend. 80's! In March! Something is wrong with that.

Anyway, sales for last week were up 55% from last year. Wheee. Which means we've been running around like crazy people. Not that I'm saying we're NOT crazy. Cause, well, I'd be lying. But the pace at which we ambulate like the crazy people we are is usually slower. Or whatever. You get what I'm trying to say, right? Even if I am offering further (unnecessary) proof of my craziness with that weird little explanation.

OKAY. Moving on...I have another interview with Wendy's on Friday. And I will NOT cancel this one. I can't. I will have to either get my suit dry-cleaned or buy a blazer to go with my black pants. I haven't had many job interviews, and I'm a bit nervous. Any advice for me? So far, I have: be five-ten minutes early, dress & act professionally, don't babble, ask intelligent questions, demonstrate knowledge of the company, don't confess to any shortcomings except perhaps a slight tendency to workaholism, make eye contact, sit forward in your chair, don't cross your arms, don't badmouth your current job, make the most of your responsibilities.

...and I guess it's time to start acting like one. I have some serious avoidance issues, I think. And some plain old laziness issues. It's time for me to deal.

So...I'm going to come up with a plan. A doable plan. And follow it. Bam. Simple as that.

The plan should include, but will not be limited to:

• Keeping my apartment looking decent. Not perfect, but at least decent.
• Playing the piano a couple times a week.
• Blogging daily, or as close as possible.
• Writing at least once or twice a week, preferably more.
• Filling out a FAFSA.
• Not feeling sorry for myself.

Sound good? Yeah. It does to me, too. I mean, obviously I'm going to fuck up. It happens. But I'm at least going to try, which is, to be honest, rather more than I've been doing. Wish me luck.

Sorry about yesterday's entry, guys. That's what happens when you're sick and depressed and stressed out and feeling much sorrier for yourself than you deserve because really, except for the sick part, you pretty much brought it all on yourself, and then you have a fight because you haven't been keeping up with your obligations, and you feel like the biggest piece of shit ever and blog quickly before you can think better of it.

But then I went to bed (at 10:00! do you know how long it's been since I went to bed that early?) and slept until 6:00, when I woke up because it was much too hot and I couldn't breathe very well and I was unbearably thirsty. So I got up, re-medicated, drank an entire bottle of water, turned on the AC (in March! what a wuss I am...) and went back to sleep after tossing and turning for a while because it was still kind of hot. When my alarm went off at noon, I was cold (naturally), but feeling a little more like myself.

Do you realize that today is officially the 7-day mark in my...well, whatever this thing is that makes me cough and blow my nose a lot? I've been sick for a whole week! And it's not over yet! Grr. And I'm not even counting the two or three days when I was feeling vaguely sick, but had no symptoms to show for it. Well, I have them now. I coughed so hard yesterday that several times I came close to throwing up. Also, some blood came out of my nose last night along with the usual half-gallon of mucus. And my appetite is nowhere close to normal. Not that any of you really had a burning desire to know these things. BUT, I felt like telling you, so just pretend, okay?

I don't seem to be capable of forcing myself to write (fiction) when I don't feel like it. In someone who would like to eventually have a career that will involve writing things, that is not a very promising trait. I think that trying to blog every day would be a good way to work on that. Also, I'm thinking of finally trying my hand at fanfiction. There are some Faith/Buffy ideas I've been mulling over for a long time (couple years, actually), and I think that starting a story and writing something on it every day would be good for me, too. I don't know that I'll be able to. But at least if I don't quite manage the daily thing, it will be good practice, and I will only be letting myself down, and not other people. I really am ridiculously whiny and undisciplined, and I'm getting on my own nerves. Time to fish or cut bait, I guess.

DQ is making me miserable. I can't work there any longer with the situation as it is. I think I'm going to wait till I have an offer from someone else, then show it to DQ, and if they don't come up with something better, I'm going to leave. Finally. Two years is plenty long for them to have realized my potential and done something about it, but that hasn't happened, and probably won't, so I need to move on. Before I make everyone else as miserable as I have been.

Also, someone who I knew when I was middle-school aged (but not yet in public school) found me on Myspace the other day. We went to church together. And now she lives in Texas and is gay too, and that makes me happy.

Exhausted
Angry
Bitter
Useless
Petty
Nauseated (literally)
Ashamed
Conflicted
Dizzy
Clueless
Disillusioned
Un-Hannah-like



Shitty

Yeah. I had to go back to work tonight. Fortunately, I got my shift cut down from 6 hours to 4, so it wasn't too bad, but I'm still a little worn out.

In the past two days, I have watched one movie (Monty Python and the Holy Grail), and read four and a half books. Sad, huh? I've also consumed a box and a half of Girl Scout Cookies and most of a bag of potato chips (and one or two slightly healthier things).

I finally have some idea of where I want to go with the next chapter of the novel Sarah and I are writing. Nothing has been coming to me, and it's been kind of frustrating (for Sarah, too, I know, although she hasn't said much), but I was thinking about it in the shower to take my mind off the entire junior high school band marching through my head all playing fortissimo in different keys and BAM I got ideas for several different chapters, but I know that I'm too tired to really do justice to them at the moment. Also, I got saddled with preparing a detailed closing checklist for DQ, and it has to been done by 1 o'clock tomorrow, so all my energy will go to that.

*sigh*

Have I mentioned how much it sucked to go to work sick? Sudafed and Mountain Dew helped, but damn...I really wish we had more flexible schedules. Grr.

It's weird how I feel more inspired to write when I'm sick. I go through phases or something...

Anyway, I'm trying to post more regularly. Aren't you proud of me? *vbg*

So...this nagging "I think I'm gonna be sick" feeling I've had for the past few days has finally come to fruition...I am, actually, sick now. And of course the cramps had to set in on the same day.

It means that I can't go see Granddad, who is depressingly lacking in togetherness. He keeps thinking that taxes are due March 15th instead of April, and worrying like crazy about getting them done. I tried to tell him that if he could just get all his tax-related papers together the guy who does Mr. W's taxes can do his, and he won't even have to go anywhere, but it's so hard to explain anything to him these days. My mom helped him with his taxes last year (and by helped I mean basically did them for him) and it took her days and days... I'm not going to get roped into that, and I don't know enough about it to have a prayer of doing them right.

Anyway, while I was going through his papers looking for 1099's I found about $2600 worth of uncashed dividend checks (some from as far back as November) just sitting around on his desk...very discouraging. And the worst part is, he didn't tell me he needed me to take anything to the bank, so it didn't really occur to me, although I would have been happy to go. I went yesterday, of course, because you can't have thousands of dollars in checks just sitting around. But I won't be able to go back and look for more until I've recovered, of course, because when you're 89 any illnesses are serious, even coughs and colds.

Since I can't afford to take any time off work, I've decided to pamper myself today and tomorrow (I'm off until 5 pm tomorrow) in the hopes that I'll get better faster. With that in mind, I have stocked up on all the things a sick person needs:

• sleep
• chicken soup
• ginger ale (Canada dry, of course)
• vitamins
• cough drops
• Sudafed
• large quantities of light fiction (courtesy of the library)
• Girl Scout cookies
• chocolate pudding

I realize that those last two items are not, strictly speaking, things that I need, but I'm sick, dammit, and it's a great excuse to eat sweets. Also, chocolate helps cramps ;-)

WELL...I have an interview tomorrow. With someone at Aramark. Which is, apparently, a pretty great company to work for (according to Forbes magazine). And I'll probably have an interview with Wendy's sometime next week...

People actually seem fairly eager to hire me. Who would have guessed? I kinda figured I'd have to sell myself a little more, but they both contacted me.

Now all I have to worry about is what to wear (heavy sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell). Grr. I hate trying to look straight, or at least ambiguous. I have that green pantsuit, which I guess I could wear, but it would really look better with brown shoes than with black, and my only brown shoes of sufficient dressiness are heels which I do not walk particularly well in...*sigh*

Also, I ended up agreeing to a 9:30 appointment way out in the sticks in Virginia Beach, so I'll have to leave here by 8:50 or so. And I was really looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Oh well. You do what you gotta do, I guess.