Friday, May 26, 2006
Too much
There is just way too much going on in my life right now. A lot of it I won't go into, because it's too close, and too personal still. Let's just say I'm going through a very challenging time in my life, and feeling pretty overwhelmed.
On a lighter note...I'm looking forward to seeing Mom and Dad again on Wednesday. I'm looking forward to getting my insurance cards, so I can go to the doctor and the dentist. I'm looking forward to seeing Sarah again sometime soon. I'm looking foward to finding out where my home store will be (the Wendy's I'll end up staying at). I'm looking forward to taking my ops test and proving that I am not totally incompetent. I'm looking forward to not being in position all the time and not having to work with people who have seen me struggling to do the stuff that they do every day.
Because I know I haven't really written anything lighthearted in a while, I thought I'd throw in a random potpourri of funny/odd Wendy's stories...
There was a customer who came through the drive-thru and I smelled something funny. It turned out to be a stick of incense burning in his ashtray....
A bunch of the male employees have these weird not-quite-vampire fake gold teeth with pointy incisors that they wear on their front four top teeth. It makes them talk funny, and I am quietly amused...One of my coworkers is forever calling everyone either "cousin" (/cuz) or "nephew" (/phew) for reasons that I do not entirely comprehend...
A lady came in and asked for an ice water w/ lemon today. She said it was all she could afford. I said I knew the feeling. She said she didn't think anybody really did. Apparently she's homeless. Doh. Hannah=chagrined/speechless...
A customer ordered 15 jr bacon cheeseburgers in the DT, then got upset when there was a wait (for meat to cook). She wanted to know "what the hold-up was"...
My current manager is pretty religious, and she objects to any profanity/obscenity, no matter how mild, even when customers are nowhere within earshot. One of the employees started complaining about a lame-ass something-or-other and the manager turned to look at her so she immediately changed it to "lame-behind"...
The first day I set up the line by myself (which involves making tea) one of the coworkers with whom I get along pretty well drank some of it, and said "This is good tea, Hannah," and then right when I was getting ready to say thank you, she added, "I didn't think it would be, but it is," and I felt a little deflated...
How is it possible to stand in line for fifteen minutes and still not have given any thought to what you're going to order? It seems ridiculous, but people do it everyday...
Also, why would you order a small fry when a medium is easily twice the size, but only 4 cents more (it's on the 99 cent super value menu)? And it's not like the prices aren't RIGHT UP THERE on the menu board. Duh...
Anyway, enough stupidity for today. Happy weekend, everybody!
On a lighter note...I'm looking forward to seeing Mom and Dad again on Wednesday. I'm looking forward to getting my insurance cards, so I can go to the doctor and the dentist. I'm looking forward to seeing Sarah again sometime soon. I'm looking foward to finding out where my home store will be (the Wendy's I'll end up staying at). I'm looking forward to taking my ops test and proving that I am not totally incompetent. I'm looking forward to not being in position all the time and not having to work with people who have seen me struggling to do the stuff that they do every day.
Because I know I haven't really written anything lighthearted in a while, I thought I'd throw in a random potpourri of funny/odd Wendy's stories...
There was a customer who came through the drive-thru and I smelled something funny. It turned out to be a stick of incense burning in his ashtray....
A bunch of the male employees have these weird not-quite-vampire fake gold teeth with pointy incisors that they wear on their front four top teeth. It makes them talk funny, and I am quietly amused...One of my coworkers is forever calling everyone either "cousin" (/cuz) or "nephew" (/phew) for reasons that I do not entirely comprehend...
A lady came in and asked for an ice water w/ lemon today. She said it was all she could afford. I said I knew the feeling. She said she didn't think anybody really did. Apparently she's homeless. Doh. Hannah=chagrined/speechless...
A customer ordered 15 jr bacon cheeseburgers in the DT, then got upset when there was a wait (for meat to cook). She wanted to know "what the hold-up was"...
My current manager is pretty religious, and she objects to any profanity/obscenity, no matter how mild, even when customers are nowhere within earshot. One of the employees started complaining about a lame-ass something-or-other and the manager turned to look at her so she immediately changed it to "lame-behind"...
The first day I set up the line by myself (which involves making tea) one of the coworkers with whom I get along pretty well drank some of it, and said "This is good tea, Hannah," and then right when I was getting ready to say thank you, she added, "I didn't think it would be, but it is," and I felt a little deflated...
How is it possible to stand in line for fifteen minutes and still not have given any thought to what you're going to order? It seems ridiculous, but people do it everyday...
Also, why would you order a small fry when a medium is easily twice the size, but only 4 cents more (it's on the 99 cent super value menu)? And it's not like the prices aren't RIGHT UP THERE on the menu board. Duh...
Anyway, enough stupidity for today. Happy weekend, everybody!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Two Words:
Overwhelmed & Exhausted
Yeah. That pretty much sums up how I'm feeling at the moment, with Wendy's and Mom and Dad coming back and Granddad and all...
I feel tired all the time. My back aches. My shoulders and neck are incredibly stiff. I spent too much money, so I won't have much for the next three weeks or so. I feel slow and inadequate at almost every position, even though I really am trying my best. I did Pick Up Window register for the first time today. Starting during lunch. It was crazy. There's just too much to do. And it was only my second day on register at all...
Anyway. Bleh. I did buy myself a new watch, because I had lost the old one. And then, about two days later, I found the old one. (Of course.)
And it's looking like I will be able to go up to DC to pick up Mom and Dad. But that means I have to pay for the gas :-( I'll scrape it together, though. I've been spoiling myself a bit since I started at Wendy's.
Sorry about the lack of posts, but considering how frantic and stressed out I've been, i make no promises.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Decisions, decisions
So, a lot has happened since I blogged last. I've actually been a little overwhelmed by it all. But I felt the urge to try and write about it today.
My grandfather has been sick for a while now, and he passed away on Monday after several weeks in the hospital precipitated by broken ribs, which caused pneumonia, and then eventually sepsis set in.
I still haven't really dealt with that, because I've been trying to cope with learning a vast amount of information and procedures at Wendy's--much of it pretty physically strenuous. And a lot of the time I don't really get a break at any point in my 10+ hour day. Part of it is because I don't really ask, because I don't want to look weak (it's that stubborn butch thing). But also, everyone is so busy they don't always have time to look after me, and that kind of sucks. Opening sucks too, cause you have to be there at 6:30, and I am SO not a morning person.
Anyway, Sarah came down to see me for a couple days--I couldn't have asked for a nicer surprise. It was fun and sweet and awesome and just generally pretty perfect, and now she's gone again and it feels like there's a gaping chasm in my life where she should be.
So it seems pretty logical that, now I'm not stuck taking care of Granddad, I can move to where Sarah lives, and while she won't be able to live with me 100% of the time, because she has to take care of her grandmother, we'll be together a lot, and she's pretty sure finding a job and an apartment won't be too much trouble. But suddenly I'm a little nervous. I hadn't really expected to be moving so soon...I kind of thought that we'd at least have the year we agreed on where nobody would move to be with anybody else. And I'm doing that irrational thing where you're scared of what you want. I'm scared of leaving behind everything I grew up with (although, really, I don't have any close friends here anymore).
I'm scared of making such a huge change in my life. I'm scared that my parents will hate Sarah and be mad at me for leaving. I'm scared that I will be paranoid and neurotic and unable to make friends in Tazewell, and I will be a burden to Sarah--one more helpless person to look after. I'm scared that I'll be clingy and desperate and she'll hate it and not be able to tell me. I'm scared that I'll feel like an outsider the entire time I'm there. I'm scared that all her friends will think I'm not worthy of her, or that I'm not cool enough. I'm scared that...well, I won't continue in this vein. I'm sure you get the idea. And I know it's stupid and irrational, and that I should be overjoyed we're not being kept apart by circumstances anymore. And I have a great reason to leave Wendy's, which I can already tell will probably make me miserable if I stick around for very long. And I can't wait to be able to have dinner with her and spend the night with her and sit around watching movies with her and drive around being goofy with her on a regular basis. I'm just...I don't know. Being hormonal and contrary, I guess. Suddenly I feel very childish, and worry that I'll get on her nerves. As soon as I actually start my period, I'll probably be eager to pack up and get out of my craptacular apartment in a noisy, not-too-nice part of town and move somewhere where they have more in the way of trees and grass and mountains and people who hold doors for you and less in the way of concrete and gunshots and heavy traffic and people who throw lit cigarettes at you. And the rent will be cheaper, and I'm sure Sarah's friends will be fun and welcoming, and I will maybe be able to have a desk job again, and not come home from work drained and sweaty and aching and smelling of grease anymore.
I hate being so wildly emotional. And I hate being that woman who blames it on PMS. I really do. But...wow, I'm just so all over the place today. Yesterday I was trying to run the grill for the first time and I was all like "I hate Wendy's! I don't care anymore. I'm driving to Tazewell right now." And I wanted to rip off my apron and get the hell out of Dodge. Anything to see Sarah again. I almost cried, right there in front of the entire crew and a bunch of customers.
No matter how much time I get to spend with her, it's never enough. She never ceases to amuse/amaze/delight/surprise me in the best ways possible. And now she thinks I'm all commitment-phobic because I was all waffly on the phone. And, well, yeah, I'm kinda young to be making this decision. And I think my parents and the folks from IPC will probably point that out. And it is a little scary. But...I've known Sarah for over three years now. And I've been in love with her for most of that time. Even while I was not admitting to it. And I'm completely miserable without her in my life. I think everything about her is perfect, and I talk about her all the time. I can't wait to grow old with her. I can't wait to do everything I didn't do before, and buy her things, just because, and be able to bring her flowers instead of just e-mailing her.
You know, I really should blog more often. It helps me sort my emotions out, and considering how roller-coaster-y they've been for the last few weeks, it would have been a good idea to do this sooner and more often. So, uh, thanks for listening, guys. Sorry about the lack of posts.
My grandfather has been sick for a while now, and he passed away on Monday after several weeks in the hospital precipitated by broken ribs, which caused pneumonia, and then eventually sepsis set in.
I still haven't really dealt with that, because I've been trying to cope with learning a vast amount of information and procedures at Wendy's--much of it pretty physically strenuous. And a lot of the time I don't really get a break at any point in my 10+ hour day. Part of it is because I don't really ask, because I don't want to look weak (it's that stubborn butch thing). But also, everyone is so busy they don't always have time to look after me, and that kind of sucks. Opening sucks too, cause you have to be there at 6:30, and I am SO not a morning person.
Anyway, Sarah came down to see me for a couple days--I couldn't have asked for a nicer surprise. It was fun and sweet and awesome and just generally pretty perfect, and now she's gone again and it feels like there's a gaping chasm in my life where she should be.
So it seems pretty logical that, now I'm not stuck taking care of Granddad, I can move to where Sarah lives, and while she won't be able to live with me 100% of the time, because she has to take care of her grandmother, we'll be together a lot, and she's pretty sure finding a job and an apartment won't be too much trouble. But suddenly I'm a little nervous. I hadn't really expected to be moving so soon...I kind of thought that we'd at least have the year we agreed on where nobody would move to be with anybody else. And I'm doing that irrational thing where you're scared of what you want. I'm scared of leaving behind everything I grew up with (although, really, I don't have any close friends here anymore).
I'm scared of making such a huge change in my life. I'm scared that my parents will hate Sarah and be mad at me for leaving. I'm scared that I will be paranoid and neurotic and unable to make friends in Tazewell, and I will be a burden to Sarah--one more helpless person to look after. I'm scared that I'll be clingy and desperate and she'll hate it and not be able to tell me. I'm scared that I'll feel like an outsider the entire time I'm there. I'm scared that all her friends will think I'm not worthy of her, or that I'm not cool enough. I'm scared that...well, I won't continue in this vein. I'm sure you get the idea. And I know it's stupid and irrational, and that I should be overjoyed we're not being kept apart by circumstances anymore. And I have a great reason to leave Wendy's, which I can already tell will probably make me miserable if I stick around for very long. And I can't wait to be able to have dinner with her and spend the night with her and sit around watching movies with her and drive around being goofy with her on a regular basis. I'm just...I don't know. Being hormonal and contrary, I guess. Suddenly I feel very childish, and worry that I'll get on her nerves. As soon as I actually start my period, I'll probably be eager to pack up and get out of my craptacular apartment in a noisy, not-too-nice part of town and move somewhere where they have more in the way of trees and grass and mountains and people who hold doors for you and less in the way of concrete and gunshots and heavy traffic and people who throw lit cigarettes at you. And the rent will be cheaper, and I'm sure Sarah's friends will be fun and welcoming, and I will maybe be able to have a desk job again, and not come home from work drained and sweaty and aching and smelling of grease anymore.
I hate being so wildly emotional. And I hate being that woman who blames it on PMS. I really do. But...wow, I'm just so all over the place today. Yesterday I was trying to run the grill for the first time and I was all like "I hate Wendy's! I don't care anymore. I'm driving to Tazewell right now." And I wanted to rip off my apron and get the hell out of Dodge. Anything to see Sarah again. I almost cried, right there in front of the entire crew and a bunch of customers.
No matter how much time I get to spend with her, it's never enough. She never ceases to amuse/amaze/delight/surprise me in the best ways possible. And now she thinks I'm all commitment-phobic because I was all waffly on the phone. And, well, yeah, I'm kinda young to be making this decision. And I think my parents and the folks from IPC will probably point that out. And it is a little scary. But...I've known Sarah for over three years now. And I've been in love with her for most of that time. Even while I was not admitting to it. And I'm completely miserable without her in my life. I think everything about her is perfect, and I talk about her all the time. I can't wait to grow old with her. I can't wait to do everything I didn't do before, and buy her things, just because, and be able to bring her flowers instead of just e-mailing her.
You know, I really should blog more often. It helps me sort my emotions out, and considering how roller-coaster-y they've been for the last few weeks, it would have been a good idea to do this sooner and more often. So, uh, thanks for listening, guys. Sorry about the lack of posts.
