Well technically...

Love letters rock. It's so much fun to pass notes with Sarah at work. She made a comment in her diary about how neither of us is particularly good at saying things out loud, which is pretty true, although more true of me than of her.

I called Mom today, and she said that I'm welcome to go to the house of some church people with the 'rental units for Thanksgiving, but I really don't think I'm ready to go through that. It's a long, drawn-out kind of deal, and I really don't feel like fielding questions for four hours. Plus, nobody knows I have a girlfriend yet...

And I overdrew my bank account (some funds were on hold for some reason, but I didn't know that), so they charged $65 for being overdrawn, despite the fact that (minus the funds on hold) I only went 6 cents over. I'm thinking I need to keep track of my account better. Also, the lady I talked to on the phone suggested that I get a savings account and link it to my checking account as overdraft protection. I would do that, except that I don't really have any money to put into the savings account *sigh*.

Oh well. I got an application for the chicken place down the street, so now I just have to find four (yes, 4) references. Grrr. And then I will be kind of tired, but not so poor anymore. And I can save up a few hundred dollars for a down payment on a car so Sarah doesn't have to share with me anymore. Despite the overall tone of this entry, I'm really insanely happy. Just cuddling with Sarah at the end of the day makes me so happy I couldn't care less about the rest of the world. I just want to curl up under the blankets, wrap my arms and her, and never let go...

Just a quick entry today, as I'm almost out of time.

Being in love is fabulous. Well worth the hickeys:-)

It's kind of funny to have to wear a turtleneck. It's not something that I've ever had to do before, but it seems kind of cool, in a weird sort of way.

I really enjoy having someone I can touch just about anytime I want to. I always feel a bit nervous about it, but I'm growing less so, and it's so much fun.

*Sigh* Today has been such a happy day.

Hmmm. We finally finished this horrible survey we've been doing for the past couple weeks, so I got to leave early today (yay!).

Unfortunately, I did not sleep at all well last night. Well, technically I did sleep well, just not enough. So I was really groggy when Sarah woke me up at 9:00 this morning. *Sigh* But I'm up now, and I have the rest of the day ahead of me...

I'm really pretty excited about this Italian thing. It's gonna be AWESOME. I've wanted to learn Italian for years and years, and just never gotten around to it...I just love the way it sounds. It's a very emotional language, which will probably be good for an emotionally-challenged person such as myself. Actually, I guess I'm not really emotionally challenged, just bad at expressing emotions. I can write about them pretty easily, but I can't say them without a great deal of effort.

Also, I have razor burn now (from yesterday's leg-shaving marathon). Grrr. I put some lotion on it this morning, and it's better, but I'm still not very happy about it. I had forgotten that that was one of my main reasons for putting off the whole shaving ordeal. *Sigh*

And you know it's time to end the entry when you're getting melodramatic about razor burn. It must be the hormones and the lack of sleep, because I'm really a very bad imitation of a clinically depressed person right now. I smile all the time and laugh very frequently, often at slightest of provocations.

And now I'm getting sappy...I'll spare you that, dear ones.

Hi everyone,

I started the laborious leg-shaving process today. It's one of those things that I put off for ages and ages, which just makes it even less fun to do when I actually force myself to do it. It took me an hour and fifteen minutes to get about two thirds of the way done *groan*. But I love the way my legs feel...

Also, I put on a certain brand of lotion after my shower, and it smells EXACTLY like my cousin J. It creeped me out a little bit. She's my favorite cousin, but it's so weird to smell her when she's not there.

Sarah and I are both going through PMS right now, so the next few days should be interesting...hehe. Especially for poor chefman. Oh well.

Also, I was kind of worrying about how much money I was going to get in my next paycheck, because my last one wasn't for very much, and I've been working fewer hours (grrr), and then I realized why my last one wasn't for very much money--it was only for one week, instead of two. I realized that as I was shaving today, and immediately felt a lot better.

I definitely do need to get another job, though. The chicken place down the street is looking more and more likely all the time.

Sarah has decided that we're going to learn Italian together...

I'm not sure how serious she is about it. She did buy me an Italian-English dictionary yesterday, which is a good sign, but I know that once I start learning it I'm going to be a bit obsessive, and I don't want her to feel pressured into anything. Also, I need to convince my high school Latin teacher to correspond with me (she's Italian), so I can practice. She's been teaching me little bits of Italian for ages, so it shouldn't be very difficult:-)

Wow, I wrote kind of a lot.

I think I'll stop now.

So about the lunch with Mom yesterday...

It went pretty well. She mentioned that all my "friends" from church (many of whom are no longer speaking to me, or at least haven't spoken to me since I came out), were sad and hurt and not sure what to do blah blah blah.

I wish they would just realize that it isn't nearly as big a deal as they seem to think and e-mail me or something. It's not like I'm a mean person and will ridicule or shun them...

*Sigh* Oh well.

Sarah keeps getting me stuff. It seems like every time I turn around I have a new book or something. It makes me feel all sponge-y. Grr. But I'm paying for some things, at least, so that makes me feel a bit better. I think I will go now, because I'm in great danger of getting all sappy again *shameless grin*

I may be a bit biased here, but I have decided unilaterally that Sarah is the most fabulous person on the planet. She's all cute and a bit sappy (which is quite out of character and rather touching). She makes me smile a lot. Actually, I already smile (and laugh) a lot, but it's really getting out of hand. Not that I mind.

And yesterday she wrote a list of 20 wonderful things about me on the mirror in the bathroom. It was really sweet and completely unexpected. I feel like a bit of a clod because I never seem to come up with stuff like that. Oh well. I'm happy, and she's happy, so everything's good.
I don't think chefman knows yet, unless she told him. It could get kind of awkward, but I'm not really sure. I don't know him well enough to be sure how he'll react. I'm sure there will be lots of teasing, but I hope he doesn't feel shut out of anything (not that he would want into the relationship --there is that whole gay man thing).

And I don't think Kellie knows yet either. Unless she's been reading our diaries, which is entirely possible *smirk*.

I haven't been in a good mood for so long in quite some time.

Perhaps I should go now before I give anyone cavities.


PS I had lunch with Mom today. More about that later.

Okay, um, not really sure what to say. I think I have a girlfriend now. It feels kind of funny.

...And my smiles are even less controllable today than they were yesterday. *sigh* We're both teetering on the edge of hopeless sappiness. Luckily, we've managed to avoid it so far. But I don't know how long that will last. We'll see *smirk*

Um wow. Uh, a lot happened last night. First, I went to two local gay bars with Sarah and chefman (god that is such a stupid nickname...oh well). That was pretty fun. And I saw a guy I used to work with at one of the bars. That was very cool.

But I really am not sure how to explain what happened after that. I'm still smiling uncontrollably, and I have this ridiculous urge to jump up and down and shout do nice things for strangers.

Oh, and I finally understand about the whole closing the eyes while kissing thing.

I know that I'm being just a tad cryptic here, but I'll write more later. When I've figured out how to describe what's going on.

Yeah, so this adjusting to sharing a bedroom thing is a little bit tricky.

Sarah and I are sharing a full-sized air mattress, a bedroom, a closet, a car, and a bathroom. I can deal with everything else, but the bed thing is kind of tricky. Especially since you can't make even the smallest movement without the air mattress broadcasting it...sigh. I'm thinking of getting my own air mattress (when I have the money), just to simplify things.

Also, I seriously need to get another job. 20 hours a week is just NOT going to pay the rent, the payments for the car that I need to be getting soon, and all the other expenses that go along with paying your own way in the world. I'm thinking of applying to the fast-food chicken place that's down the street...then I can walk to work.

And I'm going to have to come up with a good nickname for my other roommate. I guess I'll call him...chefman. It's stupid, but it'll work. He's been really, really nice to me, and I totally don't deserve it, so I've been making an effort to be nice to him.

I feel like a TOTAL sponge right now. I'll be a lot happier when I can start paying rent (I get paid today... woohoo!).

Also, got some e-mails from various people. My high school Latin teacher was cool about it, as I thought she would be. A couple of my "friends" from church wrote to me, and a couple haven't responded yet...

Muse (her nickname), wrote a really, really sad diary entry about me. But she also wrote me a fairly nice e-mail. My old pastor (he's only middle-aged, but he's not my pastor anymore), wants to get together with me. I've consented to a phone call. I'm a bit ambivalent about it, but we'll see what happens, I suppose.

Hey, I should probably change my profile, shouldn't I?

Yup. No more closeted mothball-chewing for me! Yay!

Anyway, I'll say goodbye now. Sorry I haven't updated much. The library only lets me have 30 minutes at a time unless nobody else is waiting.

Ok everyone. Boy do I have stuff to tell you.

Here's the scoop: I came out to my parents, I've moved in with Sarah and her excellent gay man, and I'm never going back to IPC again (that's the church I've been going to since I was born).

Whew. Quite a change. Yeah, it was a shock to the system, but I'm starting to get used to it now. It's really nice not to have to hide. And as soon as I get paid, I'm gonna get a short, spiky hair cut and a very dykey t-shirt. Something about as obvious as two intertwined women's symbols, only humorous.

Anyway, I'm sharing Sarah's bedroom (and closet, and bathroom) and car. I'll need to get a car of my own, but don't really have the money right now. I'll just have to scrimp and save, I guess. And I'll probably need to get a second job, too. But it's all ok, because I'm not in the closet anymore. Woohoo!

And Sarah made some chocolate cake last night. It was reeeally good. Perhaps I should warn you that I'm the world's biggest chocolate whore.

It's been interesting, and no doubt will become more so as time goes on.

Talk to you later!

Hi everyone.

I slept at Sarah's place last night. I &A sent me home early (9:30), so I went to the bookstore and read for a while (very cool book called Honku--haiku about bad driving experiences), and then I got chocolate and went to see Sarah. I freaked her roommate out by ringing the doorbell at 11:10, and he wouldn't answer the door, so she did, and was suitably surprised. Then we hung out and talked for a while, and randomly went to Walmart for beauty products (and more chocolate--I'm a complete chocolate whore). And all of a sudden I was reeeeally tired. I almost dozed off on the couch (very rare for me), so she got me a blanket and a pillow and some pajamas, and I got ready for bed (or couch, in this case). Then, naturally, I couldn't get to sleep. I probably ended up falling asleep around 2:45.

She woke me up at 10 and I called the parental units so they wouldn't worry. Then we hung around, and I had Count Chocula cereal for the first time. It's kind of like Lucky Charms, only chocolate. And all three of us (roommate, too--the world's nicest gay man) went to Target, and had lots of fun with the Halloween costumes (I've never celebrated Halloween before, so I'm pretty excited--I'm going to be a little boy of some type) and clearance items.

Oh, and I got three completes last night. Yay! Hehe.

Later, dudettes (and dudes, if any are reading this page, which I strongly doubt).

Yay! I've got electricity back. Yay!

Do the two of you who read this remember the smoke detector thing from my last entry? Yes? Good.

That's why I haven't updated for four days. There WAS an electrical problem--and I wasn't able to use my computer till yesterday. But I didn't have time yesterday, because I have a JOB. Yes! I have a job! Woohoo! I'm working for I &A now. They condensed training from three days to two, so I trained Monday and Tuesday and started dialing tonight. I did a fairly stupid survey which takes waaaay too much time, but hey, that's ok. It's work, right? Right.

I guess the most important thing that happened is that Caller ID finally proved its usefulness. Sarah called at nearly midnight a few days ago, and then when I answered she said it was a wrong number. HOWEVER, I had seen that it was her, so I called her back. And we talked for almost four hours, and we're friends again and the weirdness is pretty much gone and it's AWESOME to have a best friend again. And we're talking pretty much every night after work. *happy sigh* Life is good.

Also, someone called me from a staffing agency I applied to a couple months ago, offering me a three-day receptionist job, which will coordinate PERFECTLY with my new evening job at I&A, in the second week in October. *Bad song parody alert* It never rains in Southern Virginia, but it pours, man, it pours.

Oh well. I need the money, so I took it, despite the fact that I will have to get up at 6: freakin 30 to get there on time and I have to wear PANTYHOSE for 9 hrs. Grrr. And then for another five and a half hours for two of the days, because I won't have time to go home before I go to my other job *pout*.

Oh, and I called the student loan people, and my September and October payments have been deferred. It was a very good day.

Have I mentioned recently how cool the song "Girl," by Tori Amos, is? Well, if I haven't, I will mention now that it is definitely a really awesome song, and if you haven't heard it, you should go out right now and listen to it, or download it, or whatever. Unless it's the middle of the night and you don't download. In that case, I guess you'll have to wait for the morning. But you'd better go early! And I'll be checking up on you, so don't try and get away with anything. I ALWAYS know. I'm a superb Legilemens.